One day, Haru suddenly became perfect.
My husband and I really struggled to have a baby.
When I finally got pregnant, I ended up having a miscarriage.
I still dream about it even now. My belly was already getting big, but I just couldn't resist going out drinking.
Pushing myself too hard gave me stomach pains... and then, the baby ended up slipping right out into a train station toilet while I was on my way.
Back then, I cried uncontrollably and even thought about taking my own life, but thanks to my husband's support, I somehow pulled through. After going through all of that, Haru was the child who finally came into our lives.
Haru was shy like me and couldn't make friends very well.
Even at preschool, she always played alone in the sandbox, and when she came back home, she was always gloomy.
My husband and I were both so worried about her.
We wondered if she'd ever grow up to be a proper, functional adult.
That worry came true, but in a completely different way than we ever imagined.
One day out of nowhere, Haru suddenly said something like this:
"Mii-chan is super nice!"
At first, I was overjoyed, thinking she'd finally made a friend.
But that wasn't it.
When I secretly went to check on her at preschool the next day, Haru was playing alone in the sandbox just like always.
The only thing different was that she was talking to empty space.
It seemed to be one of those imaginary friends.
You know, like a made-up companion.
Haru was probably trying to cope with her loneliness by convincing herself that someone who wasn't there was real, and named her Mii-chan.
But well, I'd heard those usually fade away as kids grow up, so I didn't force her to stop and just casually played along.
Things took a turn for the worse shortly after Mii-chan appeared.
Mii-chan, who had only ever been at preschool, started "coming to our house."
"Mommy! Mii-chan is here!" Haru said with a smile.
If I didn't treat Mii-chan like she was actually there, it would be so sad for Haru, wouldn't it?
So we had to act like Mii-chan was right there, and that was just so exhausting...
Mii-chan only visited about once a week at first, but the frequency kept increasing, leaving both my husband and me completely worn out.
Back then, my husband and I were probably both thinking the exact same thing:
"I wish Mii-chan would just vanish already."
Then, in the middle of those mentally draining days, something terrifying suddenly happened.
On that particular day, Mii-chan didn't show up.
Of all days, Haru had to feel lonely that night and refused to go to sleep.
We were so sleepy we could barely keep our eyes open, but we couldn't sleep until Haru did.
Desperately trying to get her to bed, time just kept ticking away.
Then, I think it was around two in the morning.
Haru suddenly said,
"Oh! Mii-chan is here!"
My husband and I were filled with despair.
Because it meant we wouldn't get to sleep, right?
Ignoring our lukewarm reaction, Haru ran all the way to the front door and opened it.
Of course, there was nobody there.
But staring at the empty entryway, Haru burst into tears.
"You're not Mii-chan!! Who are you!? Scary!"
"You're not Mii-chan! You're not Mii-chan!"
"Stop it! Don't come near me! Stop!"
she screamed, bursting into tears.
Honestly, that scared the hell out of us.
We quickly closed the front door, crawled under the futon together, and somehow fell asleep.
Even though Haru had been so hysterical, for some reason she calmed down immediately and went right to sleep.
From the next day on, Mii-chan stopped coming.
As for Haru, she completely stopped talking about Mii-chan and became bright and cheerful, like a totally different person.
What happened that day was scary, but we felt relieved.
Now Haru could grow up properly.
She would definitely be able to make friends now.
That's what I thought.
And in fact, despite having such a hard time before, she made friends right away and went to preschool happily every day.
She even started eating the vegetables she used to hate,
and though she used to hate reading and writing, she started studying really hard without complaint,
and even if I stay out late drinking the night before my day off, she waits at home like a good girl,
and even when my husband and I fight late into the night every evening, she steps in and mediates between us,
and even when I'm too lazy to do house chores, she does them all for me.
She really became the ideal daughter.
Then came a certain day.
Haru asked me something out of the blue.
"Do you love me?"
Of course I love you.
I answered instantly, highball in hand.
Then Haru (?) said:
"Then why..."
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*
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"Why did you flush me down the toilet?"
"I was cuter than a kid like that... so why did you only care about her?"
"Why?"
"Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?"
"Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?"
Why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why
.
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I'm sorry I miscarried you.
[The End]
