For the sake of my health, ejaculating (masturbating)
is something I make sure never to skip a single day. Sorry for starting with such a crude topic,
but I had a pretty creepy experience related to it, so I decided
to share it here.
This happened on a day when I ejaculated about five times.
I was jerking off like I usually do. Don't get me wrong—
my sexual preferences are completely normal. I mostly like amateur pickup videos
and stuff like that.
While watching that kind of adult video on my PC, as usual,
I was beating off at home. Usually, after doing it around five times, I get exhausted
and pass out, and that day was no exception—I was tired and fell asleep.
But the weird part starts here. I act half-asleep pretty often,
but the way I acted that night wasn't just ordinary sleepwalking—it was straight-up bizarre.
Normally, I don't remember a single thing I do while sleepwalking.
I just don't remember.
My family would tell me, 'You were sleepwalking last night, lol,' and
I'd just be like, 'Huh, really?'
But that time, I actually remembered it.
I just wasn't fully aware in the moment. Looking back on it now,
maybe it wasn't sleepwalking at all.
I remember waking up suddenly in the middle of the night and turning on my PC.
Clicking around on a computer while supposedly asleep doesn't make any sense, right?
So maybe I wasn't asleep. From there, I searched something on a search engine
and jerked off. As for what was showing on the computer screen—
meaning what I actually jerked off to—I have no memory of that.
I just remember ejaculating once, feeling exhausted, getting into bed, and going back to sleep.
When I woke up in the morning, my underwear was all sticky, so I casually thought,
'Guess I passed out without wiping.' Then I wondered what I had watched while jerking off,
so I opened my PC. The most recent search history entry said:
XX war gore images
I froze for a second, and then I started shaking.
Partly because it was cold, but mostly because I was terrified of myself. I deleted the search history right away.
I want to believe my habit of jerking off and some other random memory
got mixed together because I was half-asleep. I really want to believe I don't have some grotesque fetish.
